♥ Shanna says hello (:

2011-04-10T19:03:00.000+08:00

I've moved. Goodbye blogger!

Fourtysix.

2011-03-17T16:56:00.002+08:00

I'm sick!
Fever, runny nose, cough, & sore throat.
I wish I had the mood to do my homework. But I don't.
I would try to sleep as well, but I think all I did today was sleep.
Slept at 1 plus last night, woke up at 10.
Went back to sleep at 10.30, woke up at 3.
Ate lunch, then went back to sleep at 3:20. And woke up at 4.
14 hours and 10 minutes.

Fourtyfive.

2011-03-02T19:31:00.004+08:00

Common tests are finally over!
Well, it actually ended quite long ago. I just got bored and didn't feel like posting.
Training today. Not bad, not bad!
I wouldn't mind having that kind of training forever.
Which is obviously impossible. So forget the thought.
Anyway, I have nothing much to say.
I've just been really really busy.
These 3 weeks have been crazy, stressful and hell.
Glad I got through it!
I'm also quite glad I presented my Maths performance task today.
The end of everything! I've been working on it ever since Saturday.
I even thought I could slack after exams but hell no. ):
Many more performance tasks to "look forward" to. Wish me luck alrights!
The whole March holiday train-5-times-a-week thing is sorta crazy btw.

Fourtyfour.

2011-02-05T14:38:00.005+08:00

Don't you just love Avril Lavigne?

Fourtythree.

2011-02-05T12:44:00.002+08:00

~~MIA, eatin lunch. BRB sweets!~~
I'm back from lunch!
Happy Chinese New Year everyone! :)
Common tests kind of officially starts next week.
Scaryy! I'm not mentally or physically prepared.
SOMEONE SAVE ME, pretty please?
Save me from the horrible things that await me.
I'm so dead. Like seriously, my Chinese!
Poor thing Shanna, you suck!
If I fail Chinese my tuition teacher is gonna hate me even more.
I really can't be bothered much about that though.
The real problem is how, if I fail, she'd say that I didn't work hard enough. Or that just because I'm in a good school I think I don't need to work hard.
That's far from the truth. Really.
It's not like I want to fail Chinese. It just happens.
If I could I would get full marks for it. But I can't. That's reality and that's that.
It's not like I'm not already trying.
That's the problem with parents (Not mine of course, mine is kinda awesome). Or tuition teachers.
If you tried hard and didn't do well they'd say you didn't try hard enough. I mean, what kind of crap is that? You try but just because you didn't succeed it counts as you didn't try hard enough? Not really, not at all.
If people thought that way. Does that mean if I trained really really hard for hurdles and end up not getting first position I'm counted as a failure? I don't think so.
Some things are beyond our reach.
It's really about ourselves. Some can only push to a certain extent.
I hate it when parents or coaches or teachers think you didn't do your best just because someone else did much better than you.
Like I said, sometimes you try, but it just doesn't work.

Fourtytwo.

2011-01-30T15:14:00.002+08:00

Were people able to tell exactly when they were drifting apart from their friends?
Could anyone realise when their friends didn't want them anymore?
Sometimes you think that things are going your way, especially with friends.
You think that they're relying on you. But really, what if you were relying on them instead? What if, all they wanted to do was to run as far away from you as possible?
.
It's been a busy weekend, the amount of work the school gives is increasing as the weeks go by.
Spent the whole of my Saturday rushing to complete my Math and History work.
Kind of exhausted.
I've been made to choose between a few choices today.
Reading books versus memorising.
Doing homework versus studying.
Watching telly versus using the computer.
Everything is somewhat like a game, don't you agree?
You don't know if the one you picked is the right choice until you picked it and failed.

Fourtyone.

2011-01-28T19:01:00.004+08:00

Ohmygosh can the school get any worse?
They installed some lanschool software which tracks our every move - like literally whatever we do on our computers.
I hate it. Can't they just give us some privacy?
It's not like we'd go all those really weird and strange websites.
I mean come on! Trust us man. Freaking disable this shit.
It's screwing my com. I block it and it blocks every other website.
Go to hell you stupid software.
You guys can't control us. I'm sure you know that.
It's been a busy week. Loads of work and things to read through.
Tuition tomorrow. Science quiz and Chinese spelling next Monday, with homework, homework, and more homework.
Well how much more worse can it get.
Had training today. I was looking forward to today's training since I can finally train with the team again.
But guess what. My hip's starting to hurt again. It's bearable but when I walk I sorta depend more on the other leg.
Anyway, it was raining heavily at first so we did some light stuff in the arena sports hall. After that we did relay.
I was the first runner, which meant that I'm running the curve.
I think running that made my hip worse because since you need to curve you put more impact on the left leg. Plus the side of my hip that hurts is the left side. So yeah, you probably get what I'm trying to say by now.
Was planning to walk to Potong with Naazilah but apparently she had some other plans.
So I went with Pei Xuan instead!
It's nice to argue with her. She always loses. Muahahah. (Just kidding.)
She has such a fixed thinking. She only sees things from one point of view.
And no matter how much you try and convince her to see it from another point, she keeps defending herself.
I want to improve my Math! Like asap, that kinda thing.
I feel bad that Yanying doesn't get to go for Super Show 3. I think she should stand up for herself and tell her mother that she wants to go.
Because I feel that if you want something, go all out.
I mean really. There's no point just saying you want to do something if you're not gonna put in any effort in trying to make it work.
By standing up for yourself, you'd gain experiences. If you keep living in a cage thinking you're gonna be able to gain experiences just like that, well, you're wrong.
You're stuck in a box. Crawl out and see how beautiful the world is, with your own eyes, that is.

Fourty.

2011-01-13T21:30:00.002+08:00

I've been really busy I don't even have time for tumblr!
Poor tumblr of mine, so many are gonna unfollow me.
Physio tomorrow, so it seems like I'll be missing training. Again.
Seriously need to catch up with the rest! D;
I'm currently rushing through my Math homework.
The sums are getting harder every single time! Yes yes I suck at Math.
Everyday is passing really quickly, and it feels like I'm just drifting through life.
I feel really restless these days.
If you ever feel bored be sure to text me, because I'll be feeling bored too.
Please have something to talk about though! :b
I'd probably be doing my work hoping that time will quickly pass so that the day will end. Or something.

Thirtynine.

2011-01-10T19:26:00.002+08:00

You know people who were at the wrong place at the wrong time? Well, my friends are in between. They were and are there, but not at the wrong or right time. They're just there. Maybe for themselves, who knows?
And what exactly, though, is the definition of good friends? People who are there for you? Or people whom you think are there for you? It makes me wonder. Anyway I feel that both kind of friends will leave you one day. No one or nothing is permanent.
Had training today. I still can't run. Hate myself so much for getting this injury. Now I'm getting left behind. You miss a few trainings and it feels like hell of a long time. No idea why. Maybe it's because people can improve that much that fast.
New IPW grouping! Grouped with Yanying, Seak Im, Celine and Qiao Yang. Charmaine Foo was in and Qiao Yang was out but we ended up having to switch with another group because of some lame reason. Yanying looked kind of sad with Charmaine Foo gone. I told her I could change with Charmaine if she wanted, but she rejected that offer. How weird!
My form teacher, Mr Lee, told us that if our nails were too long he'd make us cut it in school. You see, he has this nail cutter which he brings to class. Isn't that sort of disgusting? Gross, really. If he ever asks me to do that I'd tell him no way. I mean seriously. Sharing those kinds of things. Ugh.
Been reading the book Handle With Care by Jodi Picoult. I realised that some books are really addictive. Funny that's coming from me considering the fact that I actually hate reading books.
I think I'll be leaving my laptop in school so I won't be updating my blog or Tumblr very frequently. I've got to concentrate more on my studies! Hahah. But honestly, if you ask me, I don't think I'll be able to cope. Still, could you wish me some luck? :D

Thirtyeight.

2011-01-07T18:49:00.003+08:00

School has been rather fun. To be honest I think I'd prefer it as compared to my new Math tuition.
I like my English, Literature and Math teacher.
Today during Science my teacher asked the class why we all hated Science. Charmaine and I both told her it was the memorizing part. So then she asked, "But History and Geography requires memorizing too, so why do some of you still like it?" She said something like that. She thinks it's the same since all requires memorizing anyway. Apparently that isn't true. Unlike Science, for Geography and History, you have to memorize but during the exams you can crap a little and will still manage to score. But for Science, you have to answer exactly the way you learned it. You can't twist the facts.
By the way, I don't really have any appetite to eat nowadays.
I get really exhausted and worn out just by going to school.
I wonder how tough things will get when I resume training.
I'd probably die of tiredness. Hope not.
This year feels slightly different. Those people in class who used to dislike or hate me, don't anymore. Seems like the air has cleared up.
And I don't really dislike anyone in our class now. Everyone is so friendly.
Like they all say, it's a new year.

Thirtyseven.

2011-01-03T18:03:00.002+08:00

HERE'S WHAT YOU ARE. CLICK. :B

Thirtysix.

2011-01-03T15:42:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year! :b
Sorry, I know it's a little late. But the mood is sort of still there right!
I had spent my new year counting down at Serangoon Swing. It was awesome!
My family went up my mum's shop because it was too crowded and hot downstairs.
There were a lot of people! So lucky for us. Free air-con!
School begins tomorrow. I'm feeling excited! Hope I don't screw up so much this year & enjoy myself. ((:
I really hope I can push myself harder to do well in sports and academics.
Streaming year much?! Which is kind of crazy. I'm not prepared!
Am doing my Chinese compo now. I decided. HECK WITH IT. RAWRR.
Flush it down the toilet people. I decided to copy! Muahaha.
I figured I'm gonna work harder for everything except Chinese.
We'll see how it goes though.
I hope my hip gets well soon too!
I'm really thankful for those who expressed their care and concern.
Thank you so much! You are LOVED. <3
Physio appointment tomorrow. Can't wait! It's my first time.
Anyway, does anyone have nice storybooks to recommend?
I was rushing through Nineteen Minutes because I wanted to finish reading it by the end of the year so every night, I'd stay up to read a few pages before I go to bed.
And now that I'm done reading it, it feels weird going to bed every night before lying in bed and reading a few pages.
Allcomers is just 2 weeks away! I wonder if those who are taking part feel nervous.
Don't worry though, it's the first competition of the year so even if you don't do very well, you still have time! Never fear.
My friend said she wants to change since it's a new year. Change is constant. But the real question, though, is if the change is for better or worse.
For me, I think new year is nothing much. It is a new year, but it's also just a new day. The talk about a new year, a new beginning. That's not true. You can have a new beginning whenever you want. It's all in the head.
I had a dream at the start of the year. I think it's a good lesson for me. But I don't really know if that dream was a good or bad sign.
The main point of the dream was to not be greedy for money. Bad actions lead to bad consequences. Quite meaningful, dontcha think?

Thirtyfive.

2010-12-26T16:36:00.002+08:00

Just heard Lucifer by SHINee on MTV.
Jonghyun is still as hot, I'm sure you know it.
My hand got blisters from painting less than a quarter of a room in the house.
How am I supposed to do gym tomorrow. It's gonna hurt like hell.
Anyway, late Merry Christmas everyone!
I was really busy yesterday.
Royce chocolates are nice!
I so gotta thank my cousin for getting me a Christmas present. Loved it.
I'm kinda happy. I got inspirations for my two English compo! :D
My inspirations came from Jodi Picoult's books and reading Xinying's compo.
I'm so proud of myself. Seems like reading Jodi Picoult books have really paid off.
Funny thing is, I even dreamt of her books! But the books obviously couldn't talk. Grr.
It's been a few days since I last used the com. I'm finally getting rid of the bad habit of having to use the com everyday.
I think I'm also starting to stop liking Kpop much.
Maybe I was really in for the trend. Just maybe.
I think watching RunDevilRun by Girls' Generation is sorta mesmerizing.
It isn't because of their dance moves. But because of their body shape, their makeup, their faces.
Weird, right?
I'm more in to fashion now! Which is actually kinda cool, in my opinion.
I don't wish the clothes that I like were on me though. I wish they were on someone who has some really nice body shape. Then it'll look more awesome.
Hahah, did any of that make sense?
Can't believe school is starting next week.
I'm not ready to be back in school!
Plus my hip still hurts when I run.
I called up to make an appointment but no one called back. What the hell right! >:(

Thirtyfour.

2010-12-20T16:00:00.003+08:00

Today isn't a good day.
My hip problem is acting up again.
It's been two weeks already, damn it.
My hurdles are screwed too. I can't clear.
Maybe it's because I have mental blocks.
But what am I having mental blocks about? Tsk. This is frustrating.
I think I'm just feeling tired.
Anyway. Today Si Yi got reprimanded by our coach.
I feel bad for her. But I hope she knows that she shouldn't be taking it to heart.
These kinda things happen. Look on the bright side. It's an experience.
But I think my coach was a little too harsh.
It wasn't Si Yi's fault that she screwed up.
Sometimes it just happens, you know? I mean anyone else could have made that mistake too, and not only because they didn't pay attention.
Recently I've been watching a drama called Prosecutor Princess.
It's not bad. Park Shi Hoo is tall! And tall guys are hot, right? :D
Oh but I don't really like his small eyes. No offence.
It's raining heavily now. Makes me feel like sleeping.
To hell with everything. Hahah.

Thirtythree.

2010-12-09T01:10:00.005+08:00

Helloo. My mouth feels numb!
And my lips are cracking. I can't eat or drink properly.
My hip hurts. My eyes feel dry.
I can't run, jog or hurdle without feeling a little ache all over.
Today is not a good day.
Thanks to everyone who showed your concerned.
I'm fine, just not that fine.
I can't smile fully because it hurts when I do that.
Boohoo. And you know how easily I laugh sometimes!
I may not be going for training on Friday cause of my stupid hip.
My dad is what, crazy? He told me I should rest for a few weeks.
I don't think resting will help me get better.
It's probably the way I hurdle. Or do my warm ups.
Oh whatever. I can't be bothered.
Anyway, I went out today and people looked at me like I was some sorta monster.
NICE GOING YOU IDIOTS. I hate you guys.
I mean, I already know how bad the bruise is.
There isn't a need to stare.
When I saw how people looked at me I felt like telling them off.
Seriously! You should have seen how the girls who were around my age looked at me.
Please luh. As if they looked any better anyway! Sheesh.

Thirtytwo.

2010-12-06T13:04:00.006+08:00

This morning didn't start off as great as I hoped it would.
Everybody who I thought would never leave, left.
You think people are always gonna be there for you. But maybe they're not.
You tried making things right. You believed in those people. You hope they would never walk away.
I would probably tell you to keep calm and just die but sometimes, it just doesn't work that way.
You can't run away from things that are just right in front of you.
You can't do anything.
Life's not fair. How come people get to make a choice if they want to leave you or not but you don't have a single say in it?
You just have to painlessly watch them walk away, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Maybe life isn't as great as people pictured it out to be...
Well anyway, let me tell you how horrible my day was.
Firstly, my back hurts like hell. Be it when running, jogging or doing hurdles. It aches, super bad.
Secondly, we did baton relay today and I was partners with Yanying. I totally screwed up. I thought her and I would do well if we did it together since our speed was around the same. But there were other factors that affected our pass. It wasn't her fault though, I felt like it was more of mine. And to add on to it, my back hurt while trying to pass the baton to her.
Okay, lastly, the person whom I always walk to the MRT station with after trainings probably gave up on giving me chances. But it wasn't my fault. It wasn't because I didn't want to walk with her. It's just that the last few trainings the sec one sprinters had to go out to buy and plan for Kristin's and Syafiqah's birthday stuff. And I was thinking since all of that was finally over I should at least walk to the MRT station with her today and tell her that I'm sorry about not going with her the last few trainings. I really wanted to do that. But turns out she already had plans with some other person. Seems like the unexpected really happens when you least expect it to.
I don't think my life entirely sucks. Not yet, that is.
I want to go some place quiet where I can just think things through.
My mind's a huge mess, isn't it.
So to whoever read this post, at least now you understand me better. Put yourself in my shoes and after that I'd be glad to say, welcome to my life.

Thirtyone.

2010-12-05T21:10:00.002+08:00

I did nothing much today, other than watch Gossip Girl.
I've been having nightmares lately.
It might be a sign. I mean, who knows right?
The unexpected always happens when you least expect it to.
So anyway. Training tomorrow.
I feel motivated to do my best.
Ever since Saturday's training at VJC, I feel like pushing myself to do the best I can.
For hurdles. For gym. For sprints. For track itself.
I've had many thoughts. Things like "What if I fall? What if I don't get 2nd placing? What if someone from sec one is better than me in hurdles?"
I want to work hard and excel in hurdles.
It's everything I want and can wish for.
I wish everyone luck in everything they do.
Next year is a new year and we should think ahead and leave the past behind us. :)

Thirty.

2010-12-04T14:49:00.002+08:00

Today is a pretty day. But yesterday was much better. :)
Had hurdles training in the morning at VJC.
Ran in the rain while carrying my seniors' bags.
It was just, awesome.
But now I'm sort of down with runny nose.
Oh well, I didn't regret one second of it though so it's okay.
And if I'm not wrong I remember myself saying sorry while running towards the seniors cause I thought they'd get mad at me for getting their bags wet.
But they didn't and they even said thanks, so I felt kinda happy. Such nice seniors.
Anyway, not bad not bad, my technique is getting better!
Pei Xuan kept hitting the hurdles and Laura was doing pretty well actually.
I CAN'T BELIEVE LAURA CAN DO 7 STEPS. (As in from the starting to the first hurdle.)
Gosh, she's good. Looks like I have competition with not only Pei Xuan, but Laura too.
I feel motivated! This motivation will probably last about a day though. HAH.
I'm feeling happy! SPREAD THE HAPPINESS PEOPLE. Lalala.
Have a nice day everyone! I shall watch telly and probably take a nap after that.

Twentynine.

2010-12-01T18:54:00.003+08:00

What would you do if no one accepts you for who you are?
That's my question of the day.
I want a serious answer.
I have no idea what to do anymore.
And if you're in a good mood you should just ignore me because I'll definitely spoil your mood.
I've got mood swings. Crazy ones.
I don't even have the mood to do my school work.
I just want something to forget my troubles. Other than drugs and other illegal stuff, of course.
These few days I do nothing but listen to music.
Flood my mind with lyrics so I can't think about anything.
It freaking doesn't work, btw.
Anyway, training was not too bad.
I love the way my coach gives me advice on how to improve.
I mean, she doesn't take the initiative but the advice she gives are really detailed and it helps a lot.
I feel quite motivated, but at the same time really stressed up, to improve and do my best for hurdles.
So much competition with so many pro people.
Wish me all the best! Heehee.

Twentyeight.

2010-11-30T16:18:00.004+08:00

I feel so restless these days. I don't even have the mood to blog.
All I've been doing for the past two days is sitting on the sofa hearing music while surfing the net.
It's really strange how I have mood swings a lot this year.
Anyway, training tomorrow. Part of me wants to go but the other part of me doesn't.
I've become indecisive. So much.
Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane.
I could just be sitting down drinking water or lying in bed.
And next thing you know is, I'm annoyed.
I wonder what happened to all the times where life was just about being happy everyday and just having to worry about school stuff like exams.
I think life's making a fool out of me.
Oh well, hang in there, me.
I woke up today feeling empty again.
And my whole body was aching and I felt so stiff I didn't even feel like getting out of bed.
I tried going back to sleep but I ended up waking up 20 minutes later.
And I'm so weird. I got annoyed at myself yesterday for no reason.
Then I started ranting and all that crap.
I think if anyone saw me mad they'll just, hate me for it.
I don't like getting mad, irritated or annoyed at all because whenever I do, I just go crazy.
I'll just shout at anyone who bothers me, even those I love.
I seriously can't help it.
But this is also one reason why I love my family.
They'll always be the first to accept me for who I am or what I have become.
Others will probably just get bitchy and gossip to other people and stuff.

Twentyseven.

2010-11-29T16:30:00.008+08:00

VISIT MY AWESOME TUMBLR:
CLICK CLICK CLICK. :D

Twentysix.

2010-11-27T22:49:00.003+08:00

I didn't do any work today. AGAIN.
It's so annoying! I always tell myself I'll do but I always end up not doing.
Anyway. CEDAR OPEN HOUSE!
Woke up early and met up with Jayne in school.
We went to visit other booths.
The free stuff they gave were nice but it was for the P6's so they didn't allow us to take it. (How evil, I know.)
But Cedarians are nice they gave us free sweets! HAHAH.
At around 11.30AM I went with the seniors to eat burgers.
I went because I heard the burgers were for free. Plus after walking and exploring at the open house there was nothing left to see so I got bored.
Oh but turns out it was a burger competition at the God of Heart church.
Not bad not bad, our school came in second position.
But I can't believe it. I only ate 2 burgers and died.
After it ended I bused back to school with Jayne.
She had some COALS meeting and as for me, I just called to ask my dad to fetch me home.
Sat on the swing and daydream for around 20 minutes, awesomee.
Seriously, the view and the wind were just, wow.
Hahah. I felt so tired after I came home and I just fell asleep without bathing.
It isn't dirty or ewwy cause I didn't sweat much anyway!
Once I woke up I surfed the net instead of doing my work.
I feel kinda guilt but it's okay.
I shall do it later, I think.
Went to NEX to have dinner, again.
Shopped with my mum and saw this really nice vest.
The cost was just BOOMzx.
So we didn't buy it. Aww.
Oh well whatever. Next time!
Seriously! I have two mosquito bites which are damn itchy.
Grr! Yes I'll be going now. :D
OH AND DID I MENTION THAT MOST OF THE DAYS OF THE CHALET THE SEC ONES AND I PLAYED BOWLING. IT IS JUST THE BEST. OHMYGOSH I LOVE IT HAHAH.
Now seriously! Byee!

Twentyfive.

2010-11-24T22:19:00.002+08:00

Hello!
It's been a long time since I posted. Sorry bout that.
Anyway no one really reads my blog so it isn't necessary to post. Heeh.
Well then! I shall post one really long post to make up for not posting previously.
Okay, so, I went to watch Harry Potter today.
It was not bad, not bad at all. I'm pretty excited to watch part 2!
Hermione has definitely gotten prettier!
She looked a little weird with bangs last time.
Everyone in my family is in a bad mood today.
My dad's was being unreasonable.
He frustrated his anger on me.
Oh, I wish there was something that could really really distract me from all the problems I face. ):
I need a few days alone to actually think things through.
So I decided to turn off my phone plus not sign in MSN.
I hope after that I will be able to move on and not continue to worry about the same things over and over again, you know?
Worrying about it is just, really tiring and it makes you feel worn out, both physically and mentally.
I had training today, we did hurdles.
Seriously, I need to work harder for my hurdles.
My technique totally sucks now. I hang in the air too long and run too slow in between the hurdles.
And now it feels like I need to open my strides really big to reach the next hurdle.
Thank God it's off-season. If it wasn't I think I would've gone mad.
Hm, what else what else.
Track chalet! Right.
It was not too bad. On the first night the sec one sprinters had a heart-to-heart talk.
Maybe what my friend said was right, the talk didn't really help.
And on the final night, the farewell the sec threes planned for our dearest sec four seniors were awesome!
I loved the song Diana and Syasya wrote. :D

I got a golden dollar and I toss it in the water, and I make a secret wish upon the stars. I wanna be just like her cause she's such a hardy fighter and I hope that things can stay the way they are~

By the way, I've been packing my house these days and I found many things which I didn't even know I had when I was younger.
I also have a box of remnants. Seeing them really brought back memories.
I don't wish to go back to my primary school though. Six years is gladly enough.
New school with new friends, new experiences and a time to be more sensible and understanding towards others.
It doesn't sound so bad when you put it this way I guess.
Some people just don't like changes. They find it hard to adapt and stuff.
It'll be alright after awhile though. Soon we'll all get used to it. I have to admit I don't really like changes either.
But this is the truth of reality and life and things like this just can't be helped.
I feel like I'm totally crapping just to write longer. HAHAH.
Oh well, I think I should get going now. (:
And I don't know why but I feel a lot better after writing this post.
CHA-CHING.

Twentyfour.

2010-11-08T22:33:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I can't help but miss my friends.
Esp those close ones.
Every minute you're bored you just wonder what they're doing.
You wish they were there to make you smile and laugh your hearts content.
I feel so sad right now. I have no idea why. ):
Someone colour my life!

Twentythree.

2010-11-06T17:44:00.002+08:00

I don't like it when children say they hate their parents. And all of that crap.
Seriously. Take those words back.
It's so horrible that you can actually say that.
I mean, your parents are the one who brought you up.
They play a really big part in who you have become today.
They may scold you and stuff, but isn't it because they care?
Don't regret only when they're gone.
Appreciate while you can.
Anyway, I feel so accomplished today.
I finished reading one Chinese compre.
And I completed my tuition homework.
Just so you don't know, it takes really really long for me to read one compre so I get really happy when I finish reading one. Heehee.
Oh, there's another thing I'm happy about.
My mum's coming back from Japan!
A week since I've seen her.
I kinda miss her. Or maybe it's only because I like going to the airport. HAHAH.
Hm, training on Monday. I hope we don't have to run!
We'll be doing gym but my coach said she lessened the number of times we had to do so maybe we'd end earlier and will end up having to run.
I hope not!
Ahh, my lips are really dry.
It's probably due to the hot weather.
Oh oh the sun is setting!
The whole sky is filled with a light touch of orange.
Pretty! :D

Twentytwo.

2010-11-05T21:58:00.002+08:00

People say it's only when you let go of the wrong one will you find the right one.
Friends, boyfriends or the past in general I guess? Probably.
I think letting go is easier said than done, because I always get too close to the wrong one that I start to believe she's the right one.
I don't know. It's hard to let go of things you hold so dear, isn't it?
You really want to, but there's just something holding you back.
You can't help it.
Anyway, I was packing the house today.
It's a total mess, but I still managed. Hahah.
Three days break from having training.
And already one day is gone. How quick.
I have tuition this Sunday. So annoying.
And it's one of the subjects I hate - Mother Tongue.
Alright, I shall be watching telly now.
Byebye!

Twentyone.

2010-11-04T16:00:00.001+08:00

Boring day, again.
Training was not too bad, but the run-which-was-something-like-fartlegs were horrible.
After training we had some talk by Ms Yang!
Somehow stuff that she said made me feel a little more motivated.
Just a little.
Although, I have to disagree on some of the points she said.
Coaches think that changing events for pupils help to maximize their full potential.
But sometimes pupils just want to remain in the same event.
So shouldn't coaches allow the kid to make the final decision instead of making them change to another event?
My previous coach once told me that coaches makes decisions for the sake of the pupil but if the pupil does not want they should respect the pupil's decision.
I'm not making much sense am I? Plus I edited the part on what my coach said cause I can't remember the exact words which came from him.
Oh well who cares.
Just be happy!
And smile!
Walked to Potong with Marcella and Naazilah.
Being with them really makes me high. I have no idea why.
But it's a nice feeling.
Marcella seemed pretty moody though.
And what she said to me earlier, with that look on her face...
First time I saw her making that kind of expression.
I kinda feel bad for her.

Twenty.

2010-11-03T14:46:00.003+08:00

The sun is so hot.
I'm feeling really thirsty.
Plus I'm broke.
How nice.
I had training today.
We had hurdle time trials.
Jumpers Pei Xuan and Laura joined the sprinters for training.
Pei Xuan's timing was seriously close to mine!
That was when I realised that I shouldn't be complaining about training anymore.
I don't want her to overtake me.
I don't want her to be better than me.
Hurdles is the only thing I'm quite good at in track.
So. As if I'm gonna give my hurdle place to some other person!
RAWR. No way.
HELL YEAH I FEEL MOTIVATED.
Heehee. So I've decided that I shall try my very best to do well in track so that no one will be able to be better than me in hurdles.
Just so you don't know, it includes doing well in running because hurdling requires not only the proper technique but also the speed.
So yeah. I'll be working hard to improve my speed too(:
Anywayy.
Went to eat at Kovan KFC with Zhi Han, Yanlei and Yanying.
I bought Chicky Meal!
HAHAH. Somehow buying it makes me feel 5 years younger.
That's a good thing btw. CHA-CHING.
Then we walked around after that.
Well come to think of it not really.
We were at comics connection the entire time.
I heard Charlotte lost her phone.
Unlucky much. Haah.
Okay that didn't help did it!
Oh wells.
My bad, my bad.
Hope she finds her phone. (:

Nineteen.

2010-11-02T18:50:00.003+08:00

The nicer people treat you the more you don't feel like letting them go. And that's the case for me.
Anyway, stayed home to pack my house a little.
Plus file all the worksheets which have been piled up on my study table since long long ago.
Now I got distracted by the computer and the whole floor is still in a mess.
Oh well, guess I won't be able to finish packing by today.
Hm, it seems like there's training tomorrow, again.
Hope the weather isn't gonna be screwed up.
And hope that it doesn't get really hot.
And that we won't be running so much.
Ever since I ran that 400m last Friday I've been feeling rather relieved.
It feels like during the trainings next time I can run without ever complaining or something.
It's probably because of how I managed to clear that REALLY really big obstacle of running that 400m time trial.
Ahh, good feeling.
Okay, so I didn't have a dentist appointment today.
Apparently it was cancelled because the lady was sick.
Hey don't you feel that I'm posting longer posts these days?
Heehee. Awesome.
Oh and how come all my classmates are already starting on holiday homework!
Are they mad. Someone please tell me they are.
It hasn't even been a week of the holidays and they're already starting.
Seriously!

Eighteen.

2010-11-02T12:32:00.006+08:00

Isn't it sad. When you want to care for someone but every time you try you just get pushed away by them?

Seventeen.

2010-11-01T22:56:00.004+08:00

Had training today.
Gym gym. Heeh.
Nothing much.
But we did fart leg under the hot sun after that which was really really tiring.
I could hear myself breathing.
I was pretty quiet at the start of training.
No idea why though. Maybe it was because everyone was talking amongst each other and I had nothing to talk about.
Anyway, training ended and the sec one sprinters went to J8 to shop!
Sadly, Kristin and Syafiqah couldn't go with us since they had something on.
While the sprinters and I were walking out of school I saw Marcella and Naazilah.
Somehow it feels easier to talk to them as compared to talking to my track mates.
I don't know why.
Whenever I see Marcella I get kind of high HAH.
Oh oh and Naazilah gave me the letter she owed me for ages ago.
It was kinda pretty cause it was shaped like a diamond!
Ahh, nice people. Being with them makes me feel warm and loved. Somehow.
Okay okay so back to talking about going to J8 with the sprinters.
Ate at Yoshinoya and somehow I still felt hungry after that.
We had problems deciding what to buy and all that so it was kinda troublesome.
Overall shopping together was not too bad though.
Before we went off we bought ice cream from macs and we were laughing at the way each of us ate our ice cream.
Too lazy to go into details but it was amusing! :D
After I came home I was surfing the net.
Chatted with Xin Ying on MSN.
I didn't really get much of what she was saying but it's okay.
Gosh I'm so hungry. I feel like eating something but I searched all over the house and there was nothing I could find.
People say drink water when you're hungry so that you'll feel full and you won't put on weight at all.
But I can't, I seriously need something which tastes good.
Not just plain water which has practically no taste at all.
I NEED TO EAT SOMETHING GAH.

Sixteen.

2010-10-30T17:43:00.010+08:00

Seriously. Naruto fans are super creative.
They can think up of all sorts of fan art to draw.
I feel so touched after watching Naruto Shippuuden ep 175.
Best thing ever luh. The show is really long winded but the storyline is nice!
Worth watching. Heeh.
Anyway today is like other ordinary Saturdays.
Boring. Hahah.
Lazy to post so byebye! :P
Oh and did I mention how cool the new messenger is! The essentials thingy or whatever.
Nice nice. But it's sad how it can't connect to Tumblr.
If not it'll be super duper coool! HAH.

Fifteen.

2010-10-29T17:30:00.004+08:00

Ahh, the worst is finally over.
I was seriously super nervous for the 400m time trial today!
My timing wasn't so bad I guess.
The last 100m was damn tiring. I almost died.
I couldn't even feel my legs. I just looked forward and pushed like mad.
I heard everyone cheering for me, Lydia and Sha Sha.
After we ran my legs were super numb. No matter how much deep heat I rubbed I couldn't feel anything.
The crossers and sprinters got together after training to do the filming of the video for our seniors.
Managed to finish filming everything.
Went to Paya Lebar with my other track mates after that.
We recorded really stupid stuff. Haah.
Today was not too bad. I feel relieved after running that 400m.
((:

Fourteen.

2010-10-27T18:52:00.005+08:00

ARE YOU SERIOUS.
Running 400m on Friday?
Ughh. The thought of having to run...
I'm gonna be so freaking screwed damn it!
Yanlei just informed me that I'm gonna be trying out for jumps.
Am I supposed to be like. Happy or sad?
I hate running but.
I can remember the last time I competed for jumps during nationals.
Hell yeah I screwed up like mad. I didn't even make it to the next round.
AHHH, I DON'T FEEL LIKE POSTING ANYMORE.
EVERYTHING IS PISSING ME OFF NOW.
HMPH.

Thirteen.

2010-10-27T00:55:00.003+08:00

School is boring.
We had talks, talks, &more talks.
Like helloo. B-O-R-I-N-G. Tsk.
After school the sprinters and crossers practiced our dance.
We'll be dancing Gee, Abracadabra, Ring Ding Dong, Mister and Sorry Sorry.
Not bad I guess. Everyone learned the dance steps pretty quick.
Walked to Potong with Lydia.
When I got home I surfed the net and then fell asleep on the sofa.
Awesomee. :b
Nothing much happened today. Nothing much to post about either.
The other day I went to macs with Naazilah, Marcella and Esther.
Nice people. i wonder if they like me though. I was kinda high that time so I kept laughing.
I just remembered that we got back our results.
OHMYGOSH MY SCIENCE!
Horribly done. Plus the results were crap.
The other subjects were kinda sucky too I guess.
Oh well. Gotta work hard next year. Maybe I played a little too much.

Twelve.

2010-10-24T01:09:00.005+08:00

I lied when I said I wanted to talk to you only because I was bored.
Truth is, I sincerely wanted to.
I just didn't dare say it in front of your face.

Today is a rather boring day.
Nothing much happened.
Went out shopping with mum.
I love food.
The End. HAH.
Just kidding. Sec ones are gonna get back our results on Monday.
Hope I don't fail any subjects.
It's still too early for me to die.
I've got so many things which I've not done.
And come to think of it, since when did I start posting this way. O:
Anw byebye! Heeh.

Eleven.

2010-10-19T23:19:00.004+08:00

I'm watching this really nice show called Bring It On.
You should watch it! It's just awesome.
I don't really have the mood to post right now because I'm kinda tired.
Anyway. Today was fun. I guess.
My class did in-line skating in school today.
I fell twice! It wasn't so bad but the equipment seriously stinks.
Celia said she almost vomited when she wore that really stink helmet.
Funny funny. :D
And we had some principal talk and another character boost talk thingy.
(I forgot what it was called so I just made up that.)
The character boost talk thingy was organized by Ms Ng, a History teacher in my school. She made us play some hi-five game and we had to think of 5 things we are grateful for in 2010. I was day dreaming and happened to think of it just in case she called me to share with the entire level.

5 things I'm grateful for in 2010:
1. Being able to enter Cedar.
2. Really grateful to my CCA coach for believing in me and helping me to get 4th during the T&F nationals. *Thank you Qi jiao lian!
3. Meeting so many new friends.
4. Celebrating my birthday with my family.
5. Getting a present from my mum.

Okay, so I can't really remember everything but that's okayy.
After school the crossers and sprinters stayed back to discuss about the video planning for our seniors.
Guess we're doing kpop again. No offence, but it gets boring after a while, doesn't it? By it I mean learning to dance to kpop songs.
I think the planning is sorta messy. Hope it'll work out though.
Went home by bus and almost fell asleep. Super tired.
Hahah, I shall be going now!
Goodnight world.

Ten.

2010-10-14T19:24:00.004+08:00

My friend said I look like some bookworm girl. OHMYGAWD. I'm not.
(It's okay people I know I look smart! :D)

Anyway can you believe it! Exams are finally over. How awesomeee.
Went out with Pei Xuan to Bishan just now.
HAHAH I'm lazy to post. So byebye! LOL.

Nine.

2010-10-01T17:57:00.003+08:00

I'm gonna give you so much to remember so that you'll never be able to forget me.
Watch me and my awesomeness, it'll make you go crazy.

Eight.

2010-09-29T18:07:00.004+08:00

You'll never know how much I'll miss you once you're gone.
I'm such a selfish girl, don't you think? Acting like a total asshole when people are already having a hard time. Oh well, what to do, what to do. Stuck and unsure. No one to turn to. Look left, look right, you're nowhere to be found. It's not that you left me and weren't beside me, I probably just walked too far ahead till you couldn't catch up with me. I'm to blame I guess? Yeah, things will be much better that way.

Seven.

2010-09-26T15:11:00.005+08:00

It's annoying how time is flying pass so fast. It feels like yesterday was just the start of January. And tomorrow, end year exams. I feel so useless. Have exams tomorrow and I'm still sitting on the sofa shaking legs, posting my blog, hearing music. Yes, what the hell am I doing. I hope I don't screw up during exams tomorrow. English huh. I realise I take freaking long to think up of ideas before I begin writing a composition. Plus I get distracted easily. Okay okay, enough talk. More spams. :D

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG THERE'S EYE TOMORROW WHATTHEHELL WHATTHEHELL WHAT TO DO TOMORROW GOT EXAMS AND I'M SITTING HERE FEELING SO RELAXED I ACTUALLY KINDA FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.
Heehee.

Six.

2010-09-24T18:22:00.004+08:00

Today was so tiring! I feel asleep a number of times. ENGLISH LESSON WAS HORRIBLE. Plain horrible. It was just super boring. Thank God I don't have to go through her uber boring lessons after next Monday.

Ahh, went to macs after school with Pei Xuan and saw my schoolmates there. I think it was a big mistake asking Pei Xuan if she wanted to sit at the table beside them. My schoolmates kept looking at me and talking loudly. Gosh, I shouldn't sit beside them next time. It's really weird. Odd. Strange. Oh well. Whatever it was, I felt kinda uncomfortable. I didn't like the feeling. Hearing them talk and stuff made me feel pretty extra, like how everyone got each others' jokes while I just stood there like some dumbass trying to blend in. I have no idea why I attack myself like this, but I think it's true. I'm a nobody trying to make a name for myself. What rights do I have to do that.

Just feeling oh-so-extraa.

Five.

2010-09-17T23:05:00.005+08:00

You have no right to say about her. Who are you? In what position are you to say about her? Wasn't she your friend before? Even if she isn't now, she was last time, wasn't she? Don't you feel guilty talking about her like that? Saying such stuff? I never thought you were this sort of person. So mean, so thick-skinned, so desperate to get people to pity you. Was it because I never really knew your true colours? Or is it because I only heard one side of the story? But it can't be, can it? I've heard your story too. Apparently it doesn't make me feel sad for you. I don't know why. She had her reasons for not wanting to be hanging with you, but you just don't get it do you? I believe her. Because I understand how she feels. I know how it feels to be lonely, to have no one understand you, to get through all the shit life throws at you alone. How it feels like to be walking alone, and whenever you turn left or right it's just a blank space. I know how it feels to have no one there to hear you and your stories out, to tell you how fake your smiles are, to be there whenever you need someone. She reminds me of me. You remind me of her.

Four.

2010-09-14T19:10:00.006+08:00

GAH. Me and my stupid mood swings. I seriously need to focus! End year exams are coming in about two more weeks. Hell man. I haven't started studying! What to do, what to do. I keep telling myself that I need to study but I always end up feeling tired after doing school work. Pop quiz this Thursday and time assignment on Friday. How nice.

For once, I actually have to agree with what Xin Ying says. Too much competition in this world. We can't run away from it either. Everywhere you turn, every place you go, competition will always be there. Stuck in this world where all you can do is push, push, and push. Push till you go mad, that is. Don't compare me with the rest. I can't handle the stress. I'm someone who thinks too much. Too, too much. And yes, I get stressed easily.

The dancers practiced dance today. We're doing quite well. We learn the dance pretty fast, and our coordination skills are pretty good too. Although, the other dance group has quite a fair bit of problems. They are unable to decide between doing remix or not, and who's gonna dance till which part. Oh well, let it be. We'll see what happens. All the way I guess? Hope we don't screw up during our dinner meal.

Today my class went for an excursion at Health Zone. Nothing much. I tagged along with Seak Im, Pei Xuan and Valerie. Nice people. While on the way back to school, I had mood swing. It made Valerie kinda worried because she thought I was mad. And Seak Im asked why I looked so emo as well. Hahah. Thanks for the concern you guys! Really appreciate it.

Uh oh, training tomorrow again. Hope we don't have to run! I don't have the mood to. Tsk tsk. I shall try sleeping early tonight! But I don't think I can. There's so much work to do and I'm still sitting down on the sofa updating my blog. Wow, really. It's amazing isn't it.

Three.

2010-08-25T19:01:00.005+08:00

Lately, I've been rather moody and I don't feel like talking to anyone. No one understands. But I'm really glad to know there are friends around me who actually care about how I feel. Thanks you guys!

Recently, a lot of things have been happening. It's like life's throwing all the shit at me. And those shit just keep piling up, more and more. Sometimes it feels as though life is rather pointless. But when I think about the people around me, I gain a little more courage and perseverance. They're that thin thread of string which keeps me going. Now that that particular person which I used to treasure most is gone, life seems a little more meaningless. It's as though I don't have the energy to move on, no one walking beside me and telling me it's gonna be alright.

I feel like going to emo at the school swing tomorrow! I wanted to go today but I decided to go 1M and chat with Naazilah. It was really fun! I think she's matured and sensible. And it feels as though she understood how I felt earlier! I liked that feeling. The feeling that someone in this world actually understands how you feel. Oh oh, I also felt that Audrey sorta understood me when she said I looked kinda stressed. Totally true.

My friend told me something which made me quite upset. I wasn't upset with her for saying it though, I'm just upset that I'm gonna have to face it that what she said was actually true. At first, I really didn't want to believe it. I thought we were alright already, but turns out she's just a whole lot of bullshit.

Today that person I used to treasure a lot and I didn't text. We grew distant, you see. I don't exactly know what to do! It troubles me. I really want to know where it went wrong. Wasn't everything alright earlier? What happened? Why did it happened? Was it my fault or was it her choice? I hope I get to find out soon. The entire thing is bugging me, everyday. I feel so useless, unable to do anything about it and knowing that if I don't do anything sooner or later, it's gonna end completely. Most of the times I feel like going mad, on the verge of breaking down just because of this, and I keep telling myself I don't care about it anymore. And that I should just give up on this and not waste my time. But deep down I know, I can't bear to let go. It'll be such a waste. Plus I really thought we were fated to meet and become best friends or something. Or was it just me and my wishful thinking again? Haah.

Two.

2010-08-16T23:27:00.006+08:00

I'M SICK!
My voice sounds horrible due to my sore throat. GAH, I kept coughing during lessons today. And I sounded like some whale! Oh oh, lessons passed quite fast today. PE was uber boring. I couldn't participate. I wanna play pickleball! I was stoning at one corner watching the rest play while thinking of some personal stuff. By the way, Pei Xuan looked funny playing pickleball. HAH. But she's quite good at it. Yanying wasn't that good at it but she was quite serious. Zhi Han and Shakila looked like professionals! Seriously! And yes, I can't believe I actually noticed so much!

Chinese lesson today was fun! Me, Seak Im, Pei Xuan and Valerie had to go up on the board and draw some stuff. We drew a tree, a man and a bunny. OUR BUNNY WAS SO FAIL! But I liked it since it was us who drew it. Heehee. Me and Pei Xuan hang out pretty much nowadays. At first I found it quite weird since we didn't used to hang out at all, but it's fine now. What matters most is the present, not the past, isn't it?

My class will be going out of school for Home Econs Learning Journey(LJ) tomorrow. I think it'll be so much fun going on some sort of class outing like this, plus I hope I see something funny to laugh at. Hm, I didn't go for training today since I was sick. I wonder what the sprinters did. I hope we'll be doing HURDLES for our next training. Hurdles is way more fun as compared to running! Anyone can run, but it takes talented people to hurdle (I'm not trying to offend any runners).

I slept my way through the day. I got home around 3.30PM and I slept till like what, 7PM? HAHAH. I had a good sleep I guess. Something has been bugging me these few days! I don't know how to solve it, and I really don't know who to turn to for advice. I hope a miracle happens and solve it for me. But as if that will happen! Oh well.

One.

2010-08-08T15:37:00.006+08:00

Forget the past. Forget the times life felt like shit. Forget everything.
It's all over now. Time to move on. Start anew.
Imma prove to the world I'm doing fine. Gonna get back up on my feet. Walk straight and never look back.
Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. Work hard and find a goal in life. Fighting!